Trans Europe Express

[Erskine Might]

It’s not known as a Appearance Fee for nothing.

No. It's known as AN appearance fee for nothing.

[Carlos J]

Been mentioned in many 'DK' and 'TS changes' threads recently, but the only standalone I can find on the excellent TEE.

DK now doing the show with Jordan earlier and Luke 'less is' Moore was on last week, did not hear.

Again, did not hear last night with the Stain hosting and no comments, so maybe nobody did.

I can't imagine serious, decent journos like Brassell, Langdon and Daly giving Stain's shite innuendos much truck, so maybe the Stain can be a straight man with shite hair? Doubt it, as is a complete anti-Midas cunt and whatever he touches turns to shit.

Will hear some next week.

Bits of heard, Stain seems to be on best behaviour. Just an annoying cunt, something which he can't change.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Compelling listening tonight, simply to hear just how out of his depth Andrew Goldstein truly is. Away from the imbecilic shitfest that is The Sports Bar "Randy" Andy is utterly exposed. Mark Langdon and Andy Brassell bat the bouffanted twerp around for fun, seasoned experts that they are. Gold"steen"is neutered, reduced to the odd squawk and attempted "gag". He cannot contribute to the adult analysis and knows it, so is left with the scraps of "musical homework" (quite what The Owl makes of all this etc etc) and bleeting out WEEL MAJID and BATHHHHH A LONERRRR

[JW90]

There is no logic to that choice of host at all. I'd have thought one of the new incompetent lot would be perfect- they'd ask the same obvious, boring questions but they'd avoid the schoolboy bollocks that Satin provides.

[kentred1]

Stain was always an absurd choice for this show

On the sports bar when they have the european round up he doesn't really now much of whats going on

If Danny Kelly wasn't around before someone like Rob Daly would host instead

Would have been a much better choice once Danny wouldn't be doing it any longer

[Carlos J]

Compelling listening tonight, simply to hear just how out of his depth Andrew Goldstein truly is. Away from the imbecilic shitfest that is The Sports Bar "Randy" Andy is utterly exposed. Mark Langdon and Andy Brassell bat the bouffanted twerp around for fun, seasoned experts that they are. Gold"steen"is neutered, reduced to the odd squawk and attempted "gag". He cannot contribute to the adult analysis and knows it, so is left with the scraps of "musical homework" (quite what The Owl makes of all this etc etc) and bleeting out WEEL MAJID and BATHHHHH A LONERRRR

+1. Perfect analysis, Higgins. Even Stain's 'gags' are met with a sympathy laugh or they just move on.

[Erskine Might]

It's the strangest of all Clayton's moves, because it seems to go against his drive to make the station more news-oriented and his presenters more professional. A show about European leagues ought to fit neatly into his vision for the place, and yet he's sabotaged it by foisting Goldstain on to it. The show's appeal, in a broad sense, needs a presenter who can balance expertise with a very light touch, because, let's face it, people like Brassell, though well-informed, are inclined to come across as dull and geeky, so it's essential, if the show is to reach beyond dull and geeky listeners, that someone like DK keeps it lively and engaging. Goldstain clearly doesn't have a clue why he's there.

[Monty Modlin]

Get Clayton in charge at the BBC - then we'd have things like Newsnight, presented by Alan Carr, and Country file presented by Tim Westwood. It would be fun for a bit...

[Champagne and Roses]

Get Clayton in charge at the BBC - then we'd have things like Newsnight, presented by Alan Carr, and Country file presented by Tim Westwood. It would be fun for a bit...

The BBC put former politician James Purnell in as head of radio, a person (like Clayton) with no prior experience of radio at all. His strategy of alienating the Radio 4 core audience with a new youth-focussed vibrant mix of programming is not dissimilar to what Clayton is attempting.

[The End]

Is Stain the permanent host now?

I went to tune in last night but checked the listing first, and assumed it was a stand-in role for him only? This has really fucked up my Sunday bedtime listening now as it's now Goldstein or the equally-as-cuntish-but-for-different-reasons Giles Coren on Talk Radio.

[Champagne and Roses]

Is Stain the permanent host now?

I went to tune in last night but checked the listing first, and assumed it was a stand-in role for him only? This has really fucked up my Sunday bedtime listening now as it's now Goldstein or the equally-as-cuntish-but-for-different-reasons Giles Coren on Talk Radio.

Wow. I missed that. Coren on Talk Radio. How much money does that guy need ? He’ll do any old crap, that’s why he has about a dozen jobs. I suppose they employed him because he has a podcast and he’s from the Times - the Clayton strategy. I saw him in the street a while ago, he looks like an aggressive angry little bloke, wouldn’t want to annoy him.

[Erskine Might]

Don't ever mess with his copy, then. No one likes it, obviously, but Coren regards his prose as so imbued with Proustian precision, even if it is just endless 'I quite liked the fish but the dessert was a bit of a let down' drivel, that he really goes mad if you mess with it:


Chaps,

I am mightily pissed off. I have addressed this to Owen, Amanda and Ben because I don't know who i am supposed to be pissed off with (i'm assuming owen, but i filed to amanda and ben so it's only fair), and also to Tony, who wasn't here - if he had been I'm guessing it wouldn't have happened.

I don't really like people tinkering with my copy for the sake of tinkering. I do not enjoy the suggestion that you have a better ear or eye for how I want my words to read than I do. Owen, we discussed your turning three of my long sentences into six short ones in a single piece, and how that wasn't going to happen anymore, so I'm really hoping it wasn't you that fucked up my review on saturday.

It was the final sentence. Final sentences are very, very important. A piece builds to them, they are the little jingle that the reader takes with him into the weekend.

I wrote: "I can't think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for a nosh."

It appeared as: "I can't think of a nicer place to sit this spring over a glass of rosé and watch the boys and girls in the street outside smiling gaily to each other, and wondering where to go for nosh."

There is no length issue. This is someone thinking "I'll just remove this indefinite article because Coren is an illiterate cunt and i know best".

Well, you fucking don't.
This was shit, shit sub-editing for three reasons.
1) 'Nosh', as I'm sure you fluent Yiddish speakers know, is a noun formed from a bastardisation of the German 'naschen'. It is a verb, and can be construed into two distinct nouns. One, 'nosh', means simply 'food'. You have decided that this is what i meant and removed the 'a'. I am insulted enough that you think you have a better ear for English than me. But a better ear for Yiddish? I doubt it. Because the other noun, 'nosh' means "a session of eating" - in this sense you might think of its dual valency as being similar to that of 'scoff'. you can go for a scoff. or you can buy some scoff. the sentence you left me with is shit, and is not what i meant. Why would you change a sentnece aso that it meant something i didn't mean? I don't know, but you risk doing it every time you change something. And the way you avoid this kind of fuck up is by not changing a word of my copy without asking me, okay? it's easy. Not. A. Word. Ever.

2) I will now explain why your error is even more shit than it looks. You see, i was making a joke. I do that sometimes. I have set up the street as "sexually-charged". I have described the shenanigans across the road at G.A.Y.. I have used the word 'gaily' as a gentle nudge. And "looking for a nosh" has a secondary meaning of looking for a blowjob. Not specifically gay, for this is soho, and there are plenty of girls there who take money for noshing boys. "looking for nosh" does not have that ambiguity. the joke is gone. I only wrote that sodding paragraph to make that joke. And you've fucking stripped it out like a pissed Irish plasterer restoring a renaissance fresco and thinking jesus looks shit with a bear so plastering over it. You might as well have removed the whole paragraph. I mean, fucking christ, don't you read the copy?

3) And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed 'a' so that the stress that should have fallen on "nosh" is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you're winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can't you hear? Can't you hear that it is wrong? It's not fucking rocket science. It's fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.

I am sorry if this looks petty (last time i mailed a Times sub about the change of a single word i got in all sorts of trouble) but i care deeply about my work and i hate to have it fucked up by shit subbing. I have been away, you've been subbing joe and hugo and maybe they just file and fuck off and think "hey ho, it's tomorrow's fish and chips" - well, not me. I woke up at three in the morning on sunday and fucking lay there, furious, for two hours. weird, maybe. but that's how it is.

It strips me of all confidence in writing for the magazine. No exaggeration. i've got a review to write this morning and i really don't feel like doing it, for fear that some nuance is going to be removed from the final line, the pay-off, and i'm going to have another weekend ruined for me.

I've been writing for The Times for 15 years and i have never asked this before - i have never asked it of anyone i have written for - but I must insist, from now on, that i am sent a proof of every review i do, in pdf format, so i can check it for fuck-ups. and i must be sent it in good time in case changes are needed. It is the only way i can carry on in the job.

And, just out of interest, I'd like whoever made that change to email me and tell me why. Tell me the exact reasoning which led you to remove that word from my copy.

Right,
Sorry to go on. Anger, real steaming fucking anger can make a man verbose.

All the best
Giles

[Champagne and Roses]

He's been going to anger management classes for year - hasn't worked.

[JimmyDee]

Get Clayton in charge at the BBC - then we'd have things like Newsnight, presented by Alan Carr, and Country file presented by Tim Westwood. It would be fun for a bit...

I'd like Ant and Dec to do the football results.
"West Ham 2 - Manchester United .... it could be 1; it's not 4 ... join us after the break".

[Monty Modlin]

Right,
Sorry to go on. Anger, real steaming fucking anger can make man verbose.

All the best
Giles

Changed that last line for you, Giles.

All the best
Ed