Matterface

[Carlos J]

"1995. Andy Cole scored five, some other drivel and Hollyoaks was being aired for the first time. The last time Chelsea and Crystal Palace drew as well".

Get this twat off the radio. Stick to your scripted lines and commentate in your bedroom, cunt. Get professionals on this station, please.

I was watching something else, but had it in the background and just heard 'Hollyoaks'.

Knew it was a Matterface pre-prepared unfunny. Utter cunt.

[Saints11]

I'm sure that prick did a Phil Collins based pun about "his debut single was released 30 years ago this month and as its 2 all at half time I think theres something In The Air Tonight"

The cunt.

[Saints11]

In fact we should have a contest, who can come up with the worst matterface style prescript

[JW90]

Why does he do it? It means absolutely fuck all. The whole point of famous commentary lines, or even amusing ones, is that they appear off the cuff. Matterface's sound like he's been preparing them for weeks on end, which he clearly has, and it sounds like utter shit.

[Carlos J]

In fact we should have a contest, who can come up with the worst matterface style prescript

No one can beat his onerous lines. Maybe Sawyer pissed off after he kept practicing them on her. The guy has no natural wit.

[gheko]

The weak squash line was a nadir in broadcasting.

[ccreds]

Remember a couple of months ago during the football in the hot weather Matterface said "Have you ever seen a goalkeeper go down with cramp?" Then Dean Ashton started laughing. Which is right really because goalies don't get cramp do they.

[Saints11]

I'm sure that prick did a Phil Collins based pun about "his debut single was released 30 years ago this month and as its 2 all at half time I think theres something In The Air Tonight"

The cunt.

I was way off with the song, but it was Phil Collins related. . .

[Carlos J]

I'm sure that prick did a Phil Collins based pun about "his debut single was released 30 years ago this month and as its 2 all at half time I think theres something In The Air Tonight"

The cunt.

I was way off with the song, but it was Phil Collins related. . .

Good old Doug for the video. Hideous Matterface.

[Saints11]

The weak squash line was a nadir in broadcasting.

[gheko]

"If this was the 1980's and that goal was a young lady, we would have wolf whistled"

[JW90]

Could you imagine him commentating on the 1966 World Cup Final, or the Liverpool v Arsenal match in 1989?

No "They think it's all over", no "It's up for grabs now!"- some scripted shite instead.

[Carlos J]

The weak squash line was a nadir in broadcasting.

It was terrible. Weak lemon drink:



Thought there was similar in 'The League of Gentlemen', maybe Herr Lipp, but maybe getting confused.

[JimmyDee]

Could you imagine him commentating on the 1966 World Cup Final ...

"And West Germany equalise in the last minute! England certainly didn't 'Hold Tight" to their lead."
===
Note to younger readers, it had been in the charts earlier that year, and was the basis of the "England!" synchronised clapping.

[ccreds]

Saturday Session today.