The Wit And Wisdom Of Neil Custis

[Champagne and Roses]

Typeface. Right. Hoping for a gig at the closing ceremony of the Qatar World Cup. Look at the state of him here.

[kevin04]

Out of all those tweets, never mind Lufthansa's leg room.

Look at the utter nick of Custis' bag and his breeks. Absolutely bowfing.

[Erskine Might]

Hoping for a gig at the closing ceremony of the Qatar World Cup.

'Cars'. He's got the ready-made song for it: *puts peg on nose* 'Here in Quatar...'

[Erskine Might]

I bet staff in restaurants/takeaways do all kinds of horrible stuff to Neil's food before they bring it to him. I recall Charles Haughey once complained about the steak in a Dublin restuarant, and the chef was so furious that every time Haughey returned for his usual meal, the chef would drop his trousers, rub the steak on his privates and then fry it. Then he'd ask Haughey if he had enjoyed it. That went on for years. I suspect something similar happens to Neil, because he's surely incapable of going anywhere without complaining.

[Champagne and Roses]

Hoping for a gig at the closing ceremony of the Qatar World Cup.

'Cars'. He's got the ready-made song for it: *puts peg on nose* 'Here in Quatar...'

Ha ha - made me laugh - but so does Martin Kelner.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Here in Qatar
I feel safest of all
I can stow all my bags
It's the only way to fly
Qatar

[Erskine Might]

Neil is like one of those kids on You've Been Framed caught staring into a hosepipe when it suddenly starts shooting water into their stunned face.

[Erskine Might]

And yet again, he can't let it go:

[Champagne and Roses]

Van Persie. Must have refused to give Neil his autograph.

[Reg]

I know Custis is a bit of a tit, but I find it hard to believe that this is a genuine Twitter account.

Even if he is so lacking in self-awareness that he he really does post this shite, you'd think his employers would have told him to close it down by now.

[Basualdo]

I know Custis is a bit of a tit, but I find it hard to believe that this is a genuine Twitter account.

Even if he is so lacking in self-awareness that he he really does post this shite, you'd think his employers would have told him to close it down by now.

That would be the obvious answer. But there's the complete lack of wit and humour that usually can be detected on (non DNeil) troll Twitter accounts.

Mind you, that might explain the lack of the blue check mark he seems to covet so badly.

[Erskine Might]

I know Custis is a bit of a tit, but I find it hard to believe that this is a genuine Twitter account.
.

That's because you're a normal human being who inhabits the real world. The Custis brothers, on the other hand, inhabit Custis World, a very strange place with very little oxygen, rivers made of brown ale and seas of bile, where people get really, really angry about such things as why Tuesdays aren't called Wednesdays, why the TV show 'Catchphrase' doesn't actually feature proper catchphrases, why Gary Numan isn't regularly top of the album charts and, most of all, why so few people agree with the opinions of the Custis brothers.

[Reg]

I know Custis is a bit of a tit, but I find it hard to believe that this is a genuine Twitter account.
.

That's because you're a normal human being who inhabits the real world.

How dare you - I'm no such thing!

[Champagne and Roses]

I know Custis is a bit of a tit, but I find it hard to believe that this is a genuine Twitter account.

Even if he is so lacking in self-awareness that he he really does post this shite, you'd think his employers would have told him to close it down by now.

Several other blue tick football writers talk to him on this account so I conclude it’s genuine. Whenever he posts anything at all he gets a torrent of abuse from his devoted followers so one wonders why he bothers. His brother isn’t on Twitter (under his real name anyway) - he must be the brains of the family. His brother is also his boss so presumably he doesn’t want to provoke Neil by telling him to shut his account.

[JW90]

He's as miserable and short tempered away from Twitter- it seems accurate enough to be him.