So long, Stanloi

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Is rt some sort of bin for talkSPORT shit?

[Roddy]

Stan has sent a dossier to the Russian FA that's longer than War and Peace.

[The Doctor Is In]

I don't know if anyone is aware but Stan now has a show on RT as of Nov 3
https://www.rt.com/shows/stan-collymore-show/

From Woman Beating with Love?

The Spunk that came in on a Cortina

[Basualdo]

For Black Eyes Only.
(Beating) The Living Daylights.
Doctors Note (I walked into a door, honest!)

[Eaststand]

Stanloi cunted to fuck once again by f365. I get the feeling they think hes a penis.

Pep talk
December 13, 2016 is a date that will go down in history for Pep Guardiola. The Spaniard’s world has never been the same since he offered a simple and honest response to a straightforward question in a press conference.

Asked by a Spanish journalist for his thoughts on criticism he had faced from a pundit the week prior, Guardiola provided a confused response.

“Stan Collymore?”
Thus started one of the stranger, more one-sided rivalries in modern football.

‘City are undoubtedly the best… in the worst Premier League I’ve seen for years,’ reads the Daily Mirror headline to his latest attempt to denounce the achievements a team who have made the best start to an English top-flight season ever. It’s a ballsy stance.

You see, City might enjoy an eight-point gap over their nearest challengers, but that is only because everyone else is just a bit rubbish. It has little to do with City being almost faultless thus far.

Collymore ‘has to doff my cap’ to City for their ‘remarkable start’, but their ‘wonderful achievement’ needs to be put into context. And that context is that ‘City are playing in the worst-quality top flight’ in recent history.

Arsenal? Not ‘competing’. Chelsea? ‘Having their struggles’. Liverpool? ‘Not competing’. Tottenham? Drawn with Burnley, Swansea and West Brom, and ‘poor’ against Arsenal. Manchester United? ‘The only team’ capable of going ‘toe-to-toe’ with Guardiola’s side.

Which is weird, because United are closer in terms of points to all of those sides (and Burnley) as they are to City.

Also, if these elite clubs really are so comparatively poor, how are Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United and Tottenham topping their Champions League groups? The Bundesliga and La Liga must be really bad, and the German and Spanish equivalents to our Stanley must be really annoyed.

Oh, and if this really is ‘the worst-quality top flight’ in recent memory, Mediawatch would like to point out one of those pesky facts: Manchester United’s current tally of 29 points after 13 games would put them top in two of the last seven seasons. Would Collymore really rank this campaign as lower on quality as the one when Leicester won the league with 81 points?

But back to City, for Collymore cannot go more than five paragraphs without discussing a manager who he thinks once made the mistake of not knowing who he was.

‘So while, yes, their achievement is a fine one by a very good manager, and while you can only beat what is put in front of you, I’m finding it difficult to get too excited about what they are doing.’
Stan Collymore is not ‘too excited’ about a team dropping two points in 13 games, and winning 23 of their last 25 games. Pass it on.

‘This, after all, is a club which has spent billions in a short space of time,’ Collymore predictably continues, rifling through his book of ‘Reasons to hate Manchester City’, and sympathising with Manchester United and Chelsea, who just have no money.

‘Where City will be judged is in the Champions League when they take on Barcelona in the Nou Camp, Bayern Munich in the Allianz Arena and Real Madrid in the Bernabeu.

‘The question for them is not whether they can go to Selhurst Park or the Vitality Stadium to get a result, but whether they can they go [sic] to those Spanish and German fortresses and turn it on in the same way they have been doing on the domestic front.

‘If the answer is yes then we will all be mightily impressed and City will get all the plaudits they deserve.’
So you will only be impressed by Manchester City’s dominance of the Premier League if they…beat Barcelona in the Champions League? Erm…



Stanley knife
Let’s be fair to Stan. Perhaps he is just upset that, back in August, he wrote that this season ‘is shaping up to be the most competitive rollercoaster ride in the ­history of the Premier League’.

Three months later, ‘City are playing in the worst-quality top flight’ in recent history. Impressive.

Oh, and he tipped Chelsea for the title, as City will ‘take time to settle’, and will ‘demolish some teams but concede too many’.

Weird eh.



Moving the goalposts
‘What will determine Pep Guardiola’s success is not how they play, it’s whether or not they can get one more point than the team in second’ – October 18.

41 days later, and City have extended their lead over ‘the team in second’ from two points to eight. And now…

‘Where City will be judged is in the Champions League when they take on Barcelona in the Nou Camp, Bayern Munich in the Allianz Arena and Real Madrid in the Bernabeu. The question for them is not whether they can go to Selhurst Park or the Vitality Stadium to get a result, but whether they can go to those Spanish and German fortresses and turn it on in the same way they have been doing on the domestic front’ – November 28.

Delicious.



Obsession, by Calvin Klein
‘Manchester City’s Pep Guardiola is a good manager but stop kidding yourself, he’s not a genius like Cloughie’ – October 20, 2016.

‘Pep Guardiola’s ‘My way or the highway’ attitude could see him toppled by both Conte and Klopp’ – December 5, 2016.

‘It’s fine if Pep Guardiola doesn’t know me – Brian Clough did, rated me highly, and he got his success from scratch’ – December 13, 2016.

‘Only in this era of hype and hysteria can Manchester City’s Pep Guardiola be called the greatest manager’ – January 17, 2017.

‘Sergio Aguero can never do enough for Pep Guardiola – the Manchester City boss struggles to manage his big names’ – March 5.

‘Many journalists and fans think Pep Guardiola reinvented football – I’m enjoying his Manchester City test’ – in which Collymore admits he is ‘enjoying’ seeing Guardiola ‘struggle’ – March 18.

‘Why Pep Guardiola’s trophyless first season at Manchester City is worth only three or four out of 10’ – April 24.

‘Tottenham are probably the only team in England, everything considered, that I would pay money to watch. Not Manchester City – good to watch, but I just can’t get excited about them as a club’ – November 21.

[Eaststand]

Case for the defence
We’re sure you’ll agree that Liverpool and Jurgen Klopp have come in for plenty of stick this season for their defending. It has been one of the running themes of this Premier League season.

Yet in his Daily Mirror column on Tuesday, Stan Collymore says that the problem is that people aren’t criticising Liverpool enough for their defending. In fact, it’s being overlooked:

‘As things stand, it’s blatantly obvious that Liverpool can score goals but not defend and I still don’t think enough people are picking them up on that.’

They are Stan. They really are. Everyone is saying it. We challenge you to ask ten football supporters what will ultimately hamper Liverpool this season. At least nine of them will point in the general direction of the centre-backs.

‘The problem is that the commodity of football has been given to a lot of people who haven’t played it or watched it and been engrossed in it for 30 years. That means not everyone can see what ought to be smacking them in the face.

‘I’m not just talking about the teenagers who play FIFA and don’t know much about the nuances and context of the game, but a lot of media folk as well.’

Mediawatch does enjoy the idea that Collymore is suddenly a spokesperson for nuance. This is a man whose column is literally titled ‘the man who speaks his mind’. This is the man who recently called Klopp “spiteful and unprofessional” for his post-match interview against Everton. This is the man who said about former coach Ray Train:

“One day, I thought God had smiled on me because Ray keeled over and had a heart attack on the training pitch. It felt like divine retribution. I had never been so happy in my entire fucking life. He didn’t die. Little fuckers like him never do.”

Truly nuanced, of course.

‘They lay it on thick when Liverpool win 4-0 at Bournemouth, talking about how amazing they are, but don’t then question a goalless draw against West Brom.’

Not quite sure using an example of Liverpool drawing 0-0 is the best way of illustrating their dreadful defence, but then Collymore is a maverick.

‘I’d much rather see Liverpool winning 1-0 or 2-1 every game than the pendulum swinging so far. People will say, ‘You’re talking cobblers, it’s about entertainment’. But If all you get excited about as a fan is how many goals teams score then something is wrong.

‘Why can’t you be blown away by a team keeping a really good clean sheet or keeping the ball for the last 15 minutes of a game to dilute pressure?’

Pesky facts: Liverpool have kept the same number of clean sheets as two of the three teams above them in the Premier League, and that includes the runaway leaders. They have kept clean sheets in five of their last nine games, a record beaten by none of the ‘big six’.

‘People watch too many 45-second highlights packages and make their minds up these days, and Liverpool will always come off well from those – a Salah run here, a Mane run there, a Coutinho free-kick and happy days – but it doesn’t show the bigger picture.’

Every 45-second highlights package that Mediawatch has watched has shown every goal from the game, both those that a team scores and concedes.

Still, classic grumpy straw man work: 1) Pick something that isn’t really a thing. 2) Get angry about it. 3) Blame the youf of today.

More great stuff from f365

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Thought so

[James90125]

#metoo

[Carlos J]

I watched Stanloi's show on RT last week, was ok. On tonight at 9.30pm, talking to Sergio Ramos and a bit about tje Merseyside derby.

[carcinogen]

I watched Stanloi's show on RT last week, was ok. On tonight at 9.30pm, talking to Sergio Ramos and a bit about tje Merseyside derby.

Good old Stan. Is Max Keiser still on RT? He was quite good value.

[AlcoholBrazil]

Hope Stan gets a show during the World Cup. I miss the Hackney Marshes rant and also it is the 20th anniversary of giving
Ulrika a jolly good slap round the chops.

[delboy1983]

I miss his Pashun

[carcinogen]

I miss his Pashun

Be nice if somehow a live Internet TV channel could be set-up from the Ecuadorian Embassy where all the disgraced TV pundits could commentate on the World Cup games and just say whatever the fuck they liked. I mean, total free-speech.

[JW90]

Hope Stan gets a show during the World Cup. I miss the Hackney Marshes rant and also it is the 20th anniversary of giving
Ulrika a jolly good slap round the chops.

Needs to be brought back as England crash out in the group stage with Saggers going ballistic.

[Eaststand]

f365 has done it again, royally cunting Stanloi Victor once more.

Is he any better?
Mediawatch broadly agrees with Stan Collymore – and his
Daily Mirror
column – that Watford are a club that has embraced short-termism. And that is where Mediawatch and Stan Collymore bid each other farewell and move in opposite directions.

Stan is angry, you see. And first up is Silva’s replacement:

‘The fact Watford have chosen Javi Gracia to replace Silva disappointments me a little.

‘I mean, is he any better than any of the young British managers in the second or third tier? I don’t think so.’

You also don’t really know, Stan, and neither do we. But the fact that Gracia did very well at Malaga in a top-tier league has at least been noted.

It’s now three months since Collymore wrote that the appointment of Claude Puel at Leicester over British coaches ‘baffled, saddened and angered’ him, so it’s good to see that Leicester (or ‘The Faceless Foxes’, as Collymore called them) being seventh in the Premier League has not put him off.

As for the ‘young British managers in the second or third tier’ who Gracia is ‘no better’ than, here is a full list of Brits aged under 45 managing in the second and third tier: Alex Neil, Lee Johnson, Karl Robinson, Grant McCann, Richie Wellens, Ryan Lowe, Darrell Clarke, Paul Heckingbottom, Neil Harris, Derek Adams, Paul Hurst, Gary Rowett, Paul Warne and Dan Micciche.

The only one that Watford would surely even consider is Rowett, and he has just turned down a Premier League job to sign a new contract at Derby County.

Still, we do like the notion that Collymore has carried out a detailed comparison between the strengths and weaknesses of Gracia and Bristol Rovers’ Darrell Clarke and come up with his hypothesis.



Strong and stable
Next up on Collymore’s hit list is Watford themselves. Our man is not a fan of their revolving door of managers.

‘But Watford are almost Chelsea Lite in their approach to appointing managers now,’ Collymore begins, as if being a mini-version of the current Premier League champions is some sort of insult.

‘Soon managers will be saying, ‘Why would I go there? Why would I uproot my family from Spain or Portugal if I’m only going to get six months?’

‘The better ones will be thinking, “I’d be better chancing my arm with a Wolves, an Aston Villa, a Nottingham Forest. Clubs with twice as many fans in the stadium and a pedigree about them. Clubs who are desperate for a hero who is going to be there for two years or three years”.’

Even ignoring the not-insignificant fact that Watford are tenth in the Premier League and the other three clubs Collymore mentions are in the Championship, which might swing it for a manager, Collymore might have been better picking alternatives who weren’t also basket cases.

Steve Bruce has been in charge of Aston Villa for 15 months, but only one of the six managers before him even made it past their one-year anniversary. Kenny Jackett was indeed given three years at Wolves, but around him they appointed five permanent managers who averaged 22.6 matches in charge each. Nottingham Forest have just appointed their 11th permanent manager since June 2011. This idea that the Football League is a haven for long-termism is nonsensical.

So yes, why would a manager accept a Premier League job at a club that regular changes (and pays off) its managers over a second-tier club that does exactly the same?



Big boys don’t cry
Sorry Stan, but Mediawatch isn’t quite finished there. Another part of his
Daily Mirror
column focuses on Salomon Rondon’s emotional reaction to seeing James McCarthy’s leg badly broken in two places.

For those who aren’t aware, McCarthy suffered the horrific injury when Rondon attempted a shot and caught the back of the midfielder’s leg. He was visibly sickened, later tweeted his support to McCarthy and will visit him in hospital.

You’re probably wondering how on earth anybody could find something to find fault with here. Well:

‘Broken legs are part of football and always have been, and just as there was no blame on Rondon, so there was no need for any tears from him.’

‘No need for any tears’ might just be the worst advice ever given. Remember folks: death is part of war, so don’t bother getting upset about it.

‘It’s a tough game at times and I don’t want to see the West Brom No. 9 now using what happened at the weekend to McCarthy as an excuse for any dip in form.’

F**king hell. Absolutely speechless.