World Cup Sweep - into the Stains

[kevin04]

Russia?
*offers to make "nice" pot of tea for End-o*

[subsub]

I don't want anyone to think I did that from scratch. I had to do a lot of editing, but basically I nicked it from that internet.

Hre's some more crude and shoddy copy-and-paste bollocks.

Jim's Guide to the World Cup - Group A

Subsub
Winning the right to host the World Cup must have been the only way this man, arguably the poorest in the history of football, would get a chance to play at this tournament. Assuming the host beats Maude in the tournament opener, much will depend on the next match against Two Crows and the motivation (or lack of it, if he's already qualified by that time) that Zambo will have in the last group match.
"Something needs to be done about the way Subsub defends. What we saw in the March friendlies showed that there's no light at the end of the tunnel." -- Igor Rabiner, Sport Express

Maude
A lack of experience at the highest level is one of several problems facing Maude as he embarks on his first trip to the World Cup finals in 12 years. While the group he has been handed is far from difficult, Maude's lack of quality and experience in top-class tournament play makes it unlikely he will progress beyond the group.

Two Crows
If things don't go his way early in matches, or if he falls behind, the Crowman is in danger of running out of ideas.
Subsub and Maude are the two lowest-ranked men in the tournament, and while the former will be keen to leverage his home advantage, it's hard to see how either will have an answer. If he can summon up the inspiration that has accompanied him through his campaign, then Two Crows could trouble either Sid Pervcat or Darkyboy in the round of 16, but progress beyond that would represent a remarkable achievement.

Zambo
Zambo's defensive intensity and ability to capitalize on the moments in which he managed to dominate his opponents have been his main virtues.
Zambo will get to the finals with an interesting mixture of experience and youth. He is in excellent shape and can count on sufficient depth in midfield. Winning the group will be key in order to start dreaming about the semifinals.

[beingsoblase]

Can any of you nice people knock me up a Nigerian flag avatar? I'm being foiled at every turn trying to do one myself.

[Sinbad]

Can any of you nice people knock me up a Nigerian flag avatar? I'm being foiled at every turn trying to do one myself.

No.

[beingsoblase]

Can any of you nice people knock me up a Nigerian flag avatar? I'm being foiled at every turn trying to do one myself.

No.

If you want a fucking job doing do it yourself.......

[Sinbad]

Can any of you nice people knock me up a Nigerian flag avatar? I'm being foiled at every turn trying to do one myself.

No.

If you want a fucking job doing do it yourself.......

[beingsoblase]

Can any of you nice people knock me up a Nigerian flag avatar? I'm being foiled at every turn trying to do one myself.

No.

If you want a fucking job doing do it yourself.......

GO NIGERIA!!!

[Sinbad]

Can any of you nice people knock me up a Nigerian flag avatar? I'm being foiled at every turn trying to do one myself.

No.

If you want a fucking job doing do it yourself.......

GO NIGERIA!!!

Well done, mate !

[beingsoblase]

Can any of you nice people knock me up a Nigerian flag avatar? I'm being foiled at every turn trying to do one myself.

No.

If you want a fucking job doing do it yourself.......

GO NIGERIA!!!

Well done, mate !

and all done before i started work!

[Basualdo]

Your priorities are sound.

[JimmyDee]

World Cup Guide, Group C

Basualdo
Basualdo boasts an abundance of young talent and strength (not to mention quality) in depth that almost every other entrant can only dream of. "Le Bas" has started to believe his own hype, and as history will attest, that is not a good thing. Back in 2013, he rode the crest of a wave of national unity as the nation fell back in love with their footballers after a lengthy period of turmoil to reach the 2014 World Cup in Brazil.
That "feel-good" factor carried over into Euro 2016 on home soil but has since worn off. Basualdo should top Group C ahead of Higgins, Stemcp and Lasharoo but find things harder in the latter stages. Carlos J, Shedboy, Octavio and Beingsoblase are all possibilities in the round of 16, while Sid Pervcat, Darkyboy, Subsub, Zambo and Two Crows could all follow in the quarterfinals.
Le Bas will probably reach the last eight, but going further than that will require a significant change in attitude. Perhaps the the tournament will bring exactly that, making the semifinals a distinct possibility.

Stemcp
Stemcp is powerful, organised and relatively direct. In 12 qualifying games, including the playoffs, he conceded only nine goals. Yet he is hardly a long ball merchant and perhaps his greatest quality is the way in which he can mix things up, being perfectly capable of prising opponents open on the ground. Group C might be more open than it looks with Basualdo clearly vulnerable, but Stemcp is likely to battle it out with Lasharoo for second place. His experience will see him through, but it is hard to see him going beyond the last 16.

Lasharoo
Lasharoo went from an awful start to an awesome finish in CONMEBOL qualifying as a late run of form allowed him to return to the World Cup after a 36-year absence. After seven games he had managed only four points, and with only five games left he was stuck in eighth place out of 10 teams. In fact, Lasharoo hasn't lost a match in over a year-and-a-half, his last defeat being a 2-0 loss against Sinbad in November 2016, and since then he has gone undefeated in 12 matches.
The Court of Arbitration for Sport's ruling against Sjbarca for fielding an ineligible player against Tennisman and Lasharoo gave both men points they had not won on the field and encouraged La Lasharoja to keep fighting for a World Cup berth. A final-round draw against Henrycrs saw him clinch the fifth spot and a ticket to play an intercontinental playoff, in which he was much better than an overweight Jon Gaunt and sealed his World Cup return.
Lash should take this World Cup step by step, and his objective should be to get to the round of 16: From that moment on, anything can happen. If Lasharoo gets wins against Stemcp and The Ghost, he should end the group stage in second place behind Basualdo. After that, logic says Carlos J would follow, a very difficult rival and a hard-fought match.

The G of A H
The Ghosteroo qualified the hard way after finishing third behind The Puddin and Maude in Group B of Asia's third qualification round. Two-legged playoffs against Henry Summers and Birdie followed, and success in these crunch games secured Ghost a berth in a fourth consecutive World Cup.
Attacking at all costs saw the Ghosteroo enjoy unprecedented success, and that attitude is almost certain to prevail for the foreseeable future, including when he takes to the pitch in Russia. Expectations are relatively low given the tricky group opponents in Bas, Stem and The Lash. In fact, very few people will give him a chance of progressing beyond the group stage. However, with more familiarity of the new game plan in upcoming friendlies, this man will certainly fight until the bitter end. If he can become difficult enough to break down in defence, he may just eke out one or two positive results. There is no doubt that it'll be difficult for Ghost to finish in the top two of Group C, but in one of the most evenly balanced World Cup draws in recent memory, it's not entirely implausible.

[Darkyboy]

Excellent analysis Jimmy. It really does whet the appetite the appetite for what is to come.

[The End]

I will be making my way to the stadium this time next week for the one we've all been waiting for - ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN v KINGDOM OF MOROCCO.

[Sinbad]

I will be making my way to the stadium this time next week for the one we've all been waiting for - ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN v KINGDOM OF MOROCCO.

How much was the ticket ?

[The End]

I will be making my way to the stadium this time next week for the one we've all been waiting for - ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN v KINGDOM OF MOROCCO.

How much was the ticket ?

Fifteen quid!!!!!