Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

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dagbladet
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Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by dagbladet »

Sky Sports weekday mid afternoon discussing previous weekends matches. Huge cinema size screen in middle of studio, on one side stands a fulsome chested lady in a yellow dress, on the other an ex footballer in a suit. Screen shows a freeze frame of the build up to the red's third goal, ex pro in suit then starts magically moving the blue defenders around the pitch with his finger........"What Smith should have done is closed quicker on the winger, that would allow Jones to move into the space behind him, the winger would have to cut inside at which point the centre mid should have moved across to cover the approach forcing the striker to go wider with his run, the keeper can then move across.................."

repeat ad nauseum for every goal scored in the Prem the previous Saturday

But none of that shit actually happened, what's the fucking point?

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The Ghost of Alex Higgins
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by The Ghost of Alex Higgins »

Pix of titz or didn't happen
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Zambo
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by Zambo »

One hour forty five minutes MOD last night, and half of it was analysing and repeating time and time again 'crucial incidents'.

Never watch the shit live any more. Record and ffwd through the boring crap.
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by Sinbad »

Zambo wrote:One hour forty five minutes MOD last night, and half of it was analysing and repeating time and time again 'crucial incidents'.

Never watch the shit live any more. Record and ffwd through the boring crap.



That's the only way to watch MOD. NO smug Lineker and none of that bold headed cunt Alan Shearer.
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by kevin04 »

Add in punters and unfortunately friends in pubs etc coming away with ''For me, that's a penalty", "'he's going to better there'', and other cliched pundit remarks from a 18k a year IT worker.

Won't be long until the fans start covering their mouth to talk to their pals (In a pub, 500 miles away from the game itself)
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by JimmyDee »

That was Graham Taylor's point in the famous documentary. He called out some journo for the fact that "your teams never play".

I could claim that if Liverpool had played Ian Abrahams at the tip of the diamond (or whatever nonsense phone-in wankers spout) then they'd have won the Premier League half-a-dozen times, and no-one could actually PROVE me wrong, because they'd be games that never got played in the actual universe that we live in.
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by Carlos J »

JimmyDee wrote:That was Graham Taylor's point in the famous documentary. He called out some journo for the fact that "your teams never play".

I could claim that if Liverpool had played Ian Abrahams at the tip of the diamond (or whatever nonsense phone-in wankers spout) then they'd have won the Premier League half-a-dozen times, and no-one could actually PROVE me wrong, because they'd be games that never got played in the actual universe that we live in.


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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by Eaststand »

The Ghost of Alex Higgins wrote:Pix of titz or didn't happen

itll have been natalie.

really big tits for a small framed girl.

Image
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by The Ghost of Alex Higgins »

Was that poll in regards of her tits?
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by tennisman »

The Ghost of Alex Higgins wrote:Was that poll in regards of her tits?


What - Graham Pole - can't see him in there!

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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by tennisman »

dagbladet wrote:Sky Sports weekday mid afternoon discussing previous weekends matches. Huge cinema size screen in middle of studio, on one side stands a fulsome chested lady in a yellow dress, on the other an ex footballer in a suit. Screen shows a freeze frame of the build up to the red's third goal, ex pro in suit then starts magically moving the blue defenders around the pitch with his finger........"What Smith should have done is closed quicker on the winger, that would allow Jones to move into the space behind him, the winger would have to cut inside at which point the centre mid should have moved across to cover the approach forcing the striker to go wider with his run, the keeper can then move across.................."

repeat ad nauseum for every goal scored in the Prem the previous Saturday

But none of that shit actually happened, what's the fucking point?


It's all such a lot of bollox.

Football is a free flowing game where there aren't enough players on the pitch to take up all the space. Therefore, there will always be gaps, players cannot mark every player close enough or well enough to stop them from attacking and it's easy as pie to say after the event what should or could have happened.

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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by EddieCheddar »

kevin04 wrote:Add in punters and unfortunately friends in pubs etc coming away with ''For me, that's a penalty", "'he's going to better there'', and other cliched pundit remarks from a 18k a year IT worker.

Won't be long until the fans start covering their mouth to talk to their pals (In a pub, 500 miles away from the game itself)


:dart:

The BBC sport website has some twitter based humdingers whenever there’s a live game on.

“Poor game Management from Klopp”- Sandeep from Guildford.

“The high press has strangled the life out of United”- Hugo from London

“Poch is tactically naive”- Julian from the New Forest

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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by Basualdo »

EddieCheddar wrote:
kevin04 wrote:Add in punters and unfortunately friends in pubs etc coming away with ''For me, that's a penalty", "'he's going to better there'', and other cliched pundit remarks from a 18k a year IT worker.

Won't be long until the fans start covering their mouth to talk to their pals (In a pub, 500 miles away from the game itself)


:dart:

The BBC sport website has some twitter based humdingers whenever there’s a live game on.

“Poor game Management from Klopp”- Sandeep from Guildford.

“The high press has strangled the life out of United”- Hugo from London

“Poch is tactically naive”- Julian from the New Forest



An interactive ticker scrolling technique they copied from Most Haunted Live.


"I sense a spirit of a tall man, be careful Yvette!" - Sally in Upminster.

"OMG! My cat just woke up and screeched when Derek tried to contact the spirit of the grey lady!" - Debz in Yeovil.

"Please be careful Yvie and gang. We feel an evil presence." - Toby and Josh in Brighton
...etc.

All of those are about as relative to the game and make as much sense as any of the ones shown on the BBC website.
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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by JW90 »

Every goal could technically have been avoided if someone had done something else in the build-up.

You get obvious errors but now pundits are picking up on things that are hypothetical.

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Re: Analysing football shite that didn't even happen

Post by Holden Mcgroyne »

Carlos J wrote:
JimmyDee wrote:That was Graham Taylor's point in the famous documentary. He called out some journo for the fact that "your teams never play".

I could claim that if Liverpool had played Ian Abrahams at the tip of the diamond (or whatever nonsense phone-in wankers spout) then they'd have won the Premier League half-a-dozen times, and no-one could actually PROVE me wrong, because they'd be games that never got played in the actual universe that we live in.


Graham Taylor RIP and dear old Wooly. RIP, the cunting to Rob 'Cunt' Shepherd was great: “I cannot have faces like yours around me, Rob.... If you were one of my players Rob, with a face like that, I’d fucking kick you out.”




What the holy fuck was Seaman doing for those two goals the poncy pony tailed tosser ?
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