Depression

[ikhlaq786]

Sorry to jump on Regs post but unfortunately I have had a shitty year and at present I can't see it getting better. My Mum had a massive stroke, the surgeons operated on her and she got better. When I went to work the first thing work asked after if my Mum was ok ? Was how was I going to make up for the time I was off. We then found out that she needed major heart surgery and bearing in mind that she is 79 there was the stress of that. We didn't know when this was going to happen and if it was going to go well.

So the operation was on the 29th October and as Mum was going to be in ICU for 2 days in an enforced coma, I booked of 7 days Holiday from Work. While I was off my Uncle who has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's fell down some stairs breaking his hip and ribs. So all in all a shit time off.

I apologise for the long story but here is where I get to the point. So when I returned to work on Monday The 11th November and I got called in to the Senior Managers Office and I was informed that they were letting me go as I was under-performing and not suitable for the role. Now bearing in mind I've been at the company for well over a year and never had any disciplinary or questions about my performance raised by the company.

So what I'm saying is I'm screwed as I'm nearly 53 years old it is so hard to find a job at my age and at this time of year.

[subsub]

Sorry to hear that, pal.
Hope things turn around soon

[Carlos J]

Bad news, ikhlaq. Any chance of union or CAB advice on your dismissal? Best wish es to you and your family.

[m4rkb]

How can anybody be so heartless under those circumstances. No doubt if it happened to any of the management they'd expect as much time off as they wanted. Can't say I'd wish a firm like that every success.

[Basualdo]

Don't know what to say, Ikky, except that my thoughts and wishes are with you.

And fuck those cunts.

[Zippy]

Keep strong mate. Best wishes to yourself and family.

Your former employers sound like nasty people. Fuck them.

[kevin04]

That sounds so harsh, bigman. What a shower of shite your ex-workplace is ; middle management tosspots talking in riddles supping their overpriced decaf in a paper cup.

Honestly hope things get better for you. It's been a tough few years and I mind you saying how hard it was getting a job. Fingers crossed for you, and keep your head up - you are a good man.

[ikhlaq786]

Just to say thank to everybody for the kind words, as unfortunately as I've only been with the company for under two years they can let you go without any justification at all.

[genehunt1973]

That's terrible mate,I know a guy who works on the buses up here in Hull and he took time off for cancer treatment,got the all clear then when he returned to work got a written warning for time off !!

[kancutlawns]

That’s pretty despicable by the company, ikhlaq. My sincere condolences, you’re having a terrible time but you’re better off without cunts like at your old workplace. Look after your loved ones, concentrate on them and things will get better. Decent people like you do eventually get the rub of the green. Take care.

[ikhlaq786]

That’s pretty despicable by the company, ikhlaq. My sincere condolences, you’re having a terrible time but you’re better off without cunts like at your old workplace. Look after your loved ones, concentrate on them and things will get better. Decent people like you do eventually get the rub of the green. Take care.

Once again thank you, yet the hardest thing I am finding is the lack of support from my twins and wife, as they do not understand my depression and feel I have brought things on myself. I gave up the rat race so that my girls could educate themselves and so that I could be there for them. Yet now they are successful and have their own careers they see me as a failure and believe this is hard. As coming from an Asian Background I am meant to be the bread winner.

[kancutlawns]

Why would they consider you to be a failure? They’re old enough to understand your job situation and the sacrifices you made for them. Looks like they’re not very considerate or grateful of what you have done for them. It’s usually like that with children, sams when we were growing up as children, not really appreciating what our parents did for us.

Sorry if I’m coming over like this ihklaq but you need to think about yourself. Looks like you’re selfless and have always looked after your daughters like all good Asian dads do. You know what, get angry (not with your wife or others around you), know you are able to get another job and give it back to the cunts like those who lost you your job.

I went through the same shit six months ago when I lost my job then and did a load of stuff to keep myself occupied and mentally sharp. I think you’re an automotive engineer? You clearly are a skilled person with a load of ability, don’t think too much of your age, with the right effort and desire, you will get another job and doing something you like.

It’s not your fault you suffer from depression, really hope your wife and daughters show the sort of consideration and love you deserve, I really do.

I lost both of my parents in the last ten years and today was the tenth anniversary of us being told she had terminal cancer. Can’t believe it’s ten years. Comes down to us as parents and we need support, children just have their own lives but your daughters really need to engage with you and support you more. We’re all here to give whatever advice or encouragement you need. It’s something we all do well here. Good luck.

[ikhlaq786]

Why would they consider you to be a failure? They’re old enough to understand your job situation and the sacrifices you made for them. Looks like they’re not very considerate or grateful of what you have done for them. It’s usually like that with children, sams when we were growing up as children, not really appreciating what our parents did for us.

Sorry if I’m coming over like this ikhlaq but you need to think about yourself. Looks like you’re selfless and have always looked after your daughters like all good Asian dads do. You know what, get angry (not with your wife or others around you), know you are able to get another job and give it back to the cunts like those who lost you your job.

I went through the same shit six months ago when I lost my job then and did a load of stuff to keep myself occupied and mentally sharp. I think you’re an automotive engineer? You clearly are a skilled person with a load of ability, don’t think too much of your age, with the right effort and desire, you will get another job and doing something you like.

It’s not your fault you suffer from depression, really hope your wife and daughters show the sort of consideration and love you deserve, I really do.

I lost both of my parents in the last ten years and today was the tenth anniversary of us being told she had terminal cancer. Can’t believe it’s ten years. Comes down to us as parents and we need support, children just have their own lives but your daughters really need to engage with you and support you more. We’re all here to give whatever advice or encouragement you need. It’s something we all do well here. Good luck.

Unfortunately I the Service Industry is a harsh industry and it is really frustrating. The problem is my wife comes from a very wealthy family and all of them are successful, so she feels we should be the same. This has been instilled in to the twins and so they think like their mother.

I will try to odo my best but last time it took me 3 months to even find anything.

[Carlos J]

Lovely words, kancut. And keep going, ikhlaq and something will happen. As kancut says, keep busy as well.

Hoping for a better 2020 for you. And a Liverpool title.

[kancutlawns]

Well said Carlos.