This fucking newsreader

[JudgeTedd]

The sports reader keeps saying “Arsenal top the table…..”

Surely someone should be having a word with him this morning.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

"schtar schtriker"

Where do they get these useless fuckbags?

[JimmyDee]

"schtar schtriker" Where do they get these useless fuckbags?

Everyone does that now, it seems. Shtreet, shtroke, shtress, Aushtralian shtrikers. Always "STR". No-one did it 5 years ago, as no-one said Arks for ask until recently. Tiresome affectations.

[johnnyboy45]

Why does every fucker "insist" when they comment. Gets on my tips.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Lose double with the world's shittest idiots learning to read on our dime last night on spurtsbra

Then another total gonk going at it this morning

Jesus fuck, YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO READ TO DO THIS JOB. IT'S THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO DO

[JimmyDee]

Jesus fuck, YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO READ TO DO THIS JOB. IT'S THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO DO

Does anyone else remember Kurt Vonnegut's short story "Harrison Bergeron"? It features newsreaders with stammers, among other speech impediments.

"In the year 2081, the 211th, 212th, and 213th amendments to the Constitution dictate that all Americans are fully equal and not allowed to be smarter, better-looking, or more physically able than anyone else. The Handicapper General's agents enforce the equality laws, forcing citizens to wear "handicaps": masks for those who are too beautiful, earpiece radios for the intelligent that broadcast loud noises meant to disrupt thoughts, and heavy weights for the strong or athletic."

Life following art, eh?

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

10pm tonight aka just now. The most useless fucking cunt since errrrr.......the......ummmm....last.............one

HIS NAME IS - oh he didn't say. I'm not surprised.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Ok this absolute scraping MUST be sucking on Liams pee-pee

[cheesebag]

Talking of news.... WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING SPACE INVADERS TYPE MUSIC behind each newscast?????? FUCK OFF

[scully]

Talking of news.... WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING SPACE INVADERS TYPE MUSIC behind each newscast?????? FUCK OFF

Or the space rock behind the travel

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Ye TIT there is one currently "in rotation" who MUST be somebody's nephew. Just stops midway through every sentence, startled and panic-stricken. As if the "news" isn't disturbing enough.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Completely inappropriate intonation at 0930

[cheesebag]

News readers that make up their own little amusing comments.... FUCK OFF

[Sadact7]

Ye TIT

Never change my bro

[Zippy]

McKenna in his 'prime' was the worst of these. Used to sigh when stories developed as he clearly didn't like having to report on changing events. Amusing really.