The Beatles on talkSPORT

The End · Post by **The End** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:41 pm

Picture yourself as a man in a stable
With rats up his anus and shit-flavoured pies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A man with a hundred black lies.

Starving horses of chestnut and tan
Lying all about
Look for the man with shit pies in his hand
Nope, he's gone

Quinny on the air with Fat Al
Quinny on the air with Fat Al
Quinny on the air with Fat Al
La.

Follow him down to a drink-drive conviction
Or signing on despite his sole occupation
Everyone hates him, the fat boring bastard
He truly is vile

Talking shit daily to a gigantic racist
Waiting to be taken away
Climb back into bed and pray its all over
And he's gone.

Quinny on the air with Fat Al
Quinny on the air with Fat Al
Quinny on the air with Fat Al
La.

Reg · Post by **Reg** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:00 pm

Have you seen the little piggies
Toiling in the bog?
And for all the little piggies
Life is quite a slog.
Cleaning out the bog
For Al and Quinny.

Have you seen the bigger piggies
In their talkSPORT shirts?
You will find the bigger piggies
Sharting in the dirt.
XXXL shirts to squeeze their guts in.

In their headphones, sharting, hacking,
They don't care what goes on around.
In their eyes there's something lacking,
What they need's a damn good whacking

Everywhere there's bigger piggies,
Living piggy lives.
You can see them pissed at Chel’num,
Without their piggy wives.
Clutching forks and knives,
To eat their bacon.

AlcoholBrazil · Post by **AlcoholBrazil** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:07 pm

What would you do if I cough all the way through
I will try to get a joke in by three
Stealing a wage with the king of comedy
I just sit and moan about Chelsea.

I get by with a little help from Hawks bee

Reg · Post by **Reg** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:27 pm

The long and winding turd,
That lies on the floor,
Is always lying there,
I've seen that turd before.
Cleaners will not step through
That cubicle door.

scully · Post by **scully** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:31 pm

I once knew a turd he wasn't thin he was mick Quinn

He starved his best horse with a kick in the belly of course

Sid Pervcat · Post by **Sid Pervcat** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:41 pm

Help!
Me feed my horses
Help! Not just any horses
Help! These are racing horses, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never earned an honest pound and signed on everyday
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self-assured,
Now I find at breakfast times Al's head looks like a gourd

Help me if you can, I'm a fucking clown
And I do appreciate that I am round
And I cannot see my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My horses haven't eaten for twenty seven days
But ev'ry now and then I drink and drive some more

I know that I just need horse feed like I never have before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate that I am round.
I cannot see my penis I'll be bound
Won't you please, please help me?

When I was scouse, and so much scouserr than today,
I always used to eat from bins and sign on every day
But now these days are gone, I'm fat and shit and more
Now I find I've turned to men and smashed in Al"s back doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling round
And I haven't fed my horses,fuuuken sound!
Help me, get my dead nags in the ground
Won't you please,
Please help me,
Help me,
Help me, oh....laaaaar

Sid Pervcat · Post by **Sid Pervcat** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 6:55 pm

Picture yourself with a fat smelly bastard
With tangerine teeth and fucking red eyes
Somebody farted, it slipped out quite slowly
A twat with a sandwich and pies
Methane shit showers of yellow and brown
Splattering over your head
Look for the man with the shit in his pants
And he's gone
Moosey eating pies with Alan
Moosey eating pies with Alan
Moosey eating pies with Alan
Ach..
Follow him down to the sports bar and grill
Where obese gross people eat shit in their pies
Everyone smiles as you drift past the fuckers
That sponge away all of their lives
Freebie paid taxis appear at the door
To take the fat bastard away
Climbs in the back with his head full of cack
And He's gone
Moosey eating pies with Alan
Moosey eating pies with Alan
Moosey eating pies with Alan
Aaach
I've shat meself.....

The End · Post by **The End** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:19 pm

Love, love me do
You know I love poo
In pies or a stew
So please, love MQ
Laa-aa, love MQ

Love, love me do
You know I love poo
In pies or a stew
So please, love MQ
Laa-aa, love MQ

Someone to love
That's not MQ
Someone to love
MQ just loves poo

Love, love me do
You know I love poo
In pies or a stew
So please, love MQ
Laa-aa, love MQ

The End · Post by **The End** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 7:30 pm

In the town where I was born
Lived a man with a purple heed
And he told us of his life
In a world of drinking free

So we tuned into his show
It was shit, we all agreed
Fat Al lived the way he liked
Only caring about his needs

Big Fat Al lives solely for swalley
Solely for swalley
Solely for swalley
Big Fat Al lives solely for swalley
Solely for swalley
Solely for swalley

And his friends think he's a God
Constantly hammered, the way to be
And the intro begins to play (for ages)

Big Fat Al lives solely for swalley
Solely for swalley
Solely for swalley
Big Fat Al lives solely for swalley
Solely for swalley
Solely for swalley

One day Al, his life will end
Alcoholism was no folly
His bloated body covered in shite
All because of his gratis swalley

Big Fat Al died because of the swalley
Because of the swalley
Because of the swalley
Big Fat Al died because of the swalley
Because of the swalley
Because of the swalley

Bad Blue 2000 · Post by **Bad Blue 2000** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:01 pm

Jay Dude, ex wife's a slag
take your ballbag and make it better
remember your ex wife looks like a cat
your co-host's a twat
and you're no better

etc

Bad Blue 2000 · Post by **Bad Blue 2000** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:24 pm

We're Saggers Pepper's lonely shout club band
we don't care what anybody thinks
We're Saggers Pepper's lonely shout club band
we hate darkies, pakis, jews and chinks
Sagger Pepper's lonely Sagger Pepper's lonely Sagger Pepper's lonely shout club band

I didn't really want to stop the show
but I thought you might like to know
that Paddy Power is lazy and thick
he really is a typical Mick
so let me introduce to you
the one and only Billy Beers(Alan Brazil)
Saggers Pepper's lonely shout club band

scully · Post by **scully** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:17 am

Great this thread hahaha

sjbarca · Post by **sjbarca** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:31 am

Well I've done this before.........Mick Quinn - I Seen Her Standing There

Post by **Basualdo** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:46 am

Fat Alan the Piggy,
Supposedly host-ing a-show that is bear-ing his name.
Al never came.
Talksport producer,
Frantically ring-ing Max-Rushden to get-on the road,
Cos Al never showed.

All the stupid listeners,
They've all been took for mugs.
All the shit thick listeners,
They all must be on drugs.

Six in the morning,
Taxi horn honk-ing out-side a Can-ary wharf gaff,
You're having a laugh.
Ratings not soaring,
New boss-es un-happy their star is not there,
Al better beware.

All the stupid listeners,
They've all been took for mugs.
All the shit thick listeners,
They all must be on drugs.

Haaa, look at all the stupid listeners.
Haaa, those pathetic fucking listeners.

Al makes it in once.
"Yerniteds nix fisstures are comin' right after the news"
Then Al shit his trews.
Bookies are shilling,
Al pleads for corporates and free stuff to hurtle his way,
He needs them today.

All the stupid listeners,
They've all been took for mugs.
All the shit thick listeners,
They all must be on drugs.

Post by **Basualdo** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:52 am

Dar-ren Gough thinks its called a sumbarine,
No its not a dream
He's as thick as clotted cream

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