talkSPORT Presenters in History

[Reg]

The Liberation of Belsen.

Reporter: Words can't do justice to the scene that surrounds me. The bodies are piled twenty deep, and living skeletons wander about, their faces bearing testimony to the horrific events they have witnessed...

Big Al in studio: What are yer plans fer today, John - a spot o' lunch and a few glasses o' that German wine? Bewdiful. A couple o' rounds o' golf - Ihear they've got some smashing courses. Lovely part of the world I'm told, Ah've nivver been. Sivven twenny sivven.

[The End]

The Liberation of Belsen.

Reporter: Words can't do justice to the scene that surrounds me. The bodies are piled twenty deep, and living skeletons wander about, their faces bearing testimony to the horrific events they have witnessed...

Big Al in studio: What are yer plans fer today, John - a spot o' lunch and a few glasses o' that German wine? Bewdiful. A couple o' rounds o' golf - Ihear they've got some smashing courses. Lovely part of the world I'm told, Ah've nivver been. Sivven twenny sivven.

This could be a winner.....

[Reg]

Neville Chamberlain: I have in my hand a piece of paper...

Big Al (from the bogs): Sling it over here, pal - Ah've jist used up a whole roll.


(With apologies to Viz.)

[Reg]

Albert Einstein: ...and so that, in conclusion, is what I call the Theory of Relativity.

Adrian Durham: Yeah, yeah, OK mate. (pause) 'As he gone?... Blimey, he needs to have a word with himself. That was EMBARRASSING. I'm struggling to get my head around what the hell he was banging on about. Help me out here Goffy...

Darren Gough: 'OO 'AS WROTE THAT?

[Basualdo]

Ronald Reagan: "Mr Gorbachev, tear down that wall."

D. Gough: "Fing is, H'ade, if t'Russkies tear down t'Berlin Wall, then what h'is goin' t'keep t'Berlin roof h'up?"

[delboy1983]

Ben Hur -what's happened to the chariots
Ask McQuinneas

[Basualdo]

Duke of Wellington : "Waterloo, sir, well that was a damn close run thing."

Adrian Durham : "Okay the Frenchman may have been reasonably successful in the past, I give you that, but Emperor fan's you CANNOT be happy with today's performance. The little gunner had no answer when Wellington sent the old German on late in the second half. Clueless, absolutely clueless. Give us a pigeon message on....... "

[JW90]

Winny C- "We'll fight them on the beaches".

Alan B- "Which beach will thee gae tae? Ah luvv Sandy Lane, Quinny. Maybe Mayorker. Ah noo thee luvv a fight in Ibither so prolly go therr, then fer a foo Guinness's in the Bar after".

[Sid Pervcat]

Pathé News Correspondent : "Adolf Hitler is dead"

Big Al "How is old Adolf's health these days? "

[Sid Pervcat]

Walter Cronkite: "In Dallas Texas, 3 shots have been fired at President Kennedy's motorcade.Initial reports say he is Gravely injured"

Durham :" 'is 'eads gone!!"

[kancutlawns]

Queen Elizabeth I: I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.

Moose: Yup, I was in the pigsty corporate tent at the Bernard Matthews battery farm wiv dubious hygiene and safety standards laaaarst night right sating my capacious waistline with five jumbo industrial sized bratwursts, a huge portion of steak chips and a sirloin steak the size of a size 15 shoe inside a pie crust bigger than a bendy bus, then I went back for penguins, churros, curly whirlies, those strawberry cables, Teo while Black Forest gateaux's, loads of creme brûlées, apple crumble with chocolate sauce and rice pudding. Then I took a doggy bag to eat on the 57 to Borehamwood aaaafter <high pitched girly laugh>.

[Reg]

Walter Cronkite: "In Dallas Texas, 3 shots have been fired at President Kennedy's motorcade.Initial reports say he is Gravely injured"

Durham :" 'is 'eads gone!!"

[davidarthur]

News reader - Following the attack on the twin towers of New York a global manhunt is underway for a terrorist by the name of Osama Bin Laden.

Mike Parry - Is he the guy who looks like Mick Fleetwood?

In TS land the truth is always stranger than fiction.......

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Albert Einstein: ...and so that, in conclusion, is what I call the Theory of Relativity.

Adrian Durham: Yeah, yeah, OK mate. (pause) 'As he gone?... Blimey, he needs to have a word with himself. That was EMBARRASSING. I'm struggling to get my head around what the hell he was banging on about. Help me out here Goffy...

Darren Gough: 'OO 'AS WROTE THAT?

[Jonathan Grunt]

Queen Elizabeth I: I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.

Moose: Yup, I was in the pigsty corporate tent at the Bernard Matthews battery farm wiv dubious hygiene and safety standards laaaarst night right sating my capacious waistline with five jumbo industrial sized bratwursts, a huge portion of steak chips and a sirloin steak the size of a size 15 shoe inside a pie crust bigger than a bendy bus, then I went back for penguins, churros, curly whirlies, those strawberry cables, Teo while Black Forest gateaux's, loads of creme brûlées, apple crumble with chocolate sauce and rice pudding. Then I took a doggy bag to eat on the 57 to Borehamwood aaaafter <high pitched girly laugh>.

Have a great day Queen, my friend