DK and Simon Jordan

[Erskine Might]

Jordan. A profoundly immature, chip-on-shoulder, insecure, verbose, over-indulged bore. I wouldn't mind so much if he learned. But he doesn't learn. He still thinks 'vitriol' is 'vitroll' and 'furore' is 'feroar'. That's very revealing. He pays zero attention to anyone who knows better. Intelligent people learn from their mistakes. Happily. He doesn't. Some people, amazingly, call him intelligent. He isn't. He's a personal and shambolic autodidactic project that is being allowed to get in the way of ordinary broadcasting. And he's shit at it. If you like what he does, lock him in a room with you, pat him on the back every time he hiccups a new word and leave everyone else in peace!


'If you're getting beat then there's an element of the team that isn't playing' - either banal or nonsense.

'Having come through this real moment of diversity, um, you micro-manage the target area and don't take any notice of it' - nope, no idea.

'I do not especially partake of that, um, generic assumption relating to, er, that particular nostrum' - meaningless, mate, meaningless.

'They were well-versed in all of the brick-bats they received' - again, utter shite.

'The caveat to that was that they brought out a conditionality about it which brought up a feroar [sic]' - for god's sake!

'To be fair to them they did condone it promptly' - you mean 'condemn'.

'The essential axiom, I would suggest, is that it is not the event, as such, right, so much as the general process of the ongoing narrative, um, if it reverses itself in the fullness of time'. Again, nope, gibberish.

'Aston Villa have spent a lot on a litany of varying players' - look, mate, that's not the way to use 'litany'. You're just desperately clutching at words you don't really understand.

'Best player for Liverpool? Mourmimio' - no such player.

'If you get stuck in that particular system, somewhere you'll get stuck in that gear' - nope.

'They pervade and influence and touch and affect...' - bleurggh!

'They're disappearing into the ether of the upper echelons' - just make it stop.

[kancutlawns]

DK says that Olly had a stellar playing career and starts off not taking about his footballing achievements but of his ‘anger issues’. Fuck off.

[kancutlawns]

Did Olly smack Kim around? Fair play to him saying he was responsible for her depression but ruined it by talking about the “hormones in her head”. DK laughing embarrassingly when Olly said anger issues hadn’t helped him. What really is the purpose of this Danny? Is it for Olly to feel better about himself?
Ah the mental health card.

[carcinogen]

Jordan. A profoundly immature, chip-on-shoulder, insecure, verbose, over-indulged bore. I wouldn't mind so much if he learned. But he doesn't learn.

That mindset is called 'dead-reckoning', a nautical term where a sailor would just set course in a straight line without taking into account tides, weather, the curve of the earth, etc. etc. and inevitably end up on the rocks as they refuse to change course. A lot of idiots use this method when trying to discuss something they don't actually know much about. I think when I read that he is/was dating some ex Sky Sports News girl who ran as a Brexit Party MP and lost heavily (because she basically knows fuck-all about anything) my worst fears for the blokes level of intellect was confirmed.

[kentred1]

I'm sure i heard Jordan say earlier If my Aunt had wheels she would be a trolley

[Erskine Might]

He did. He started that cliche 'If my aunt was my uncle' and then thought, 'I'll run with this and see where it takes me'. Then after one more try he realised it took him nowhere and he went very quiet. He's an idiot.

[JW90]

DK says that Olly had a stellar playing career

Hey, it weren't just stellar, a foo canz o Carlin in thurr as werll!

[kentred1]

He did. He started that cliche 'If my aunt was my uncle' and then thought, 'I'll run with this and see where it takes me'. Then after one more try he realised it took him nowhere and he went very quiet. He's an idiot.

He does go a bit Matterface at times

[Erskine Might]

I wouldn't mind him so much if he just admitted he's been a shite entrepreneur who's bolloxed up everything he's done and is now just trying to earn a living - fine; or if he admitted he's painfully aware of his so-so vocabulary and he has a neurotic need to impress those he mistakenly thinks are his 'betters'; or if he just admitted he hates himself, his class, his family and his friends and for some bizarre and sad reason wants to leave them all behind and be embraced by the very sickeningly pompous people who at some stage in the past must have made him feel small. But when he tries to move on like he's some kind of mega-successful businessman and football genius who is inexplicably free for whatever slot TS give him, morning, noon or night, well, pass the sick bag. He's a joke, and a sad one at that.

[James90125]

Good old Simon.

[Erskine Might]

Boring old Simon. Initially there was something quite amusing about his 'schtick,' and obviously it was refreshing to have someone on who was different from the endless succession of ex-players and Blob Mills. But he rapidly became a self-parody. Now it's more like white noise - same phrases, same mispronunciations, same anecdotes, same arguments. They're having to engineer new debates for him, like the ridiculous one with the Gooner TV twat, but he's clearly not comfortable with that, and coils straight back into the same old riff: 'Crystal Palace...bloody this, bloody that...vitrol...Steve Bruce...monetize...narrative...vitrol...what the FA should do, right...binary...when I was last in Spain...vitrol...' I'm done with it.

[The Ghost of Alex Higgins]

Jordan. A profoundly immature, chip-on-shoulder, insecure, verbose, over-indulged bore. I wouldn't mind so much if he learned. But he doesn't learn. He still thinks 'vitriol' is 'vitroll' and 'furore' is 'feroar'. That's very revealing. He pays zero attention to anyone who knows better. Intelligent people learn from their mistakes. Happily. He doesn't. Some people, amazingly, call him intelligent. He isn't. He's a personal and shambolic autodidactic project that is being allowed to get in the way of ordinary broadcasting. And he's shit at it. If you like what he does, lock him in a room with you, pat him on the back every time he hiccups a new word and leave everyone else in peace!


'If you're getting beat then there's an element of the team that isn't playing' - either banal or nonsense.

'Having come through this real moment of diversity, um, you micro-manage the target area and don't take any notice of it' - nope, no idea.

'I do not especially partake of that, um, generic assumption relating to, er, that particular nostrum' - meaningless, mate, meaningless.

'They were well-versed in all of the brick-bats they received' - again, utter shite.

'The caveat to that was that they brought out a conditionality about it which brought up a feroar [sic]' - for god's sake!

'To be fair to them they did condone it promptly' - you mean 'condemn'.

'The essential axiom, I would suggest, is that it is not the event, as such, right, so much as the general process of the ongoing narrative, um, if it reverses itself in the fullness of time'. Again, nope, gibberish.

'Aston Villa have spent a lot on a litany of varying players' - look, mate, that's not the way to use 'litany'. You're just desperately clutching at words you don't really understand.

'Best player for Liverpool? Mourmimio' - no such player.

'If you get stuck in that particular system, somewhere you'll get stuck in that gear' - nope.

'They pervade and influence and touch and affect...' - bleurggh!

'They're disappearing into the ether of the upper echelons' - just make it stop.

Stellar post

[Carlos J]

Good old DK, good old Jordan and good old Tony Evans. Bad old Custis.

[Erskine Might]

Tony Evans, the man who had the 'exclusive' that the Chinese state was going to buy Liverpool FC. Talk about wrecking your own career, Tone!

[Erskine Might]

Jordan on his show's nomination:


Simon Jordan
@Sjopinion10
·
Jan 15
This is indeed very flattering ... all down to my mentor
@dannykellywords
....... apparently

To be fair it’s thoroughly enjoyable to be on a brilliant platform like #talkSPORT
@LeeClayton_


A bit too creepy, Simes, mate, for a high-flying international entrepreneur who's supposed to be almost too busy to fit in his radio gigs. It makes you sound like you're, well, desperate.