talkFORUM

How long before

#1 The first yellow card for Dele Alli.

Mention of the Russian revolution within 5 seconds, 1/100

John Motson (or his replacement)mentions penalty shoot-outs.
Fans sing "3 lions" 52 years of hurt has too many syllables.
Talksport presenters challenge each other to do a Cossack Dance.

Saggers mentions Operation Barbarossa.

In a dull passage of play the cameramen home in on some fit South American women in the crowd

They're so busy showing a replay of a terrible foul that they miss the moment when the ref flourishes the red card.

Moose squeals about pizza

A great goal followed by "well, that was from Russia with love by ..."
A foul being described as 'From Russia with Shove'
A good save described as 'From Russia with Glove'

Someone dusts the TS hotel rooms with polonium. All the staff die. The United Kingdom does not issue a complaint.

A dull, goalless draw going on longer than one of Dostoyevsky’s classics, being more tortuous than fifteen years in a Siberian gulag and more savage than Rasputin’s death.

Moose spends the whole tournament in a sweat-soaked West Ham shirt , and doesn't wash it.
Durham and Dunce sample some Beluga caviar.
Saggers samples the local vodka with unfortunate consequences .

A team in red likened to the red army

This should be a bingo game

Clive Tyldesley gives us a potted history of Fabergé eggs and the Romanov family. During the first match I imagine because it'll be a dull fucking game.

The first Twatter ‘spat’ between Mike Parry and *insert other tS presenter here.

My money’s on the puddled arl fecker mistaking Dougies goffeh parody account for the real thing