The Apprentice 2018
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2018 11:49 am
No-one else has bothered to start a thread for this year's one - not that I can blame them after last year's - so I thought I may as well start one as its the only TV I'll be watching for, well the next three weeks probably.
If it hadn't already jumped the shark, then the last series started full on orbiting the shark like an angry moon.
The teams.
Well the women, looks wise - and thats the only way to judge them because, as usual, they seem to have been picked from the country's soul crushingly huge pool of narcissistic cretins - are a middling bunch at best.
The only 3, maybe 4, worthy of notice are, a quite attractive Persian looking piece, Jasmine, who seems completely vapid and, unlike most Persians, seems dumber than houseful of tictacs, but she could pout for Britain.
A younger, posh blonde English Rose type who is into Tennis and would make somebody a nice Chipping Norton Stepford wife.
A cute young black babe, who I think might go all the way.....And might win the thing too. Early days yet and I know that judgement might be wildly inaccurate.
And a willowy cunning Yank called Jackie, who is no great shakes to look at - though no dog - but, for me anyway, set off that mysterious 'hottest fuck ever' alarm.
The rest were a blonde Milf with wonky teeth who wants to market "nut juice" and who is "mad about nuts"
.
And I swear, Sonia from Eastenders without the fucking trumpet, but with the incessant fucking whining.
A tranny with an eye piercing thats fucked up her vision so much he/she applies comestics with Homer Simpson's make up shotgun set on the 'Whore' setting.
And a loud, LOUD refugee from the 'When Comestic Surgery Goes Bad' TV show whose lips sit like two pre-crash Hindenburgs across the bottom of her face and who has a Catterall-esque comedy "Manc" accent that will have Liam Gallagher writing to the Times in furious complaint. Nice rack though.
Well the men, as usual, I didn't give much attention to. But the one's that got noticed were....
A horrifically neck bearded camp Northerner with inward growing teeth.
An aging Mr Muscle from the tins of polish.
An Indian guy with long Bee Gee-like flowing black hair, an ego the size of the sub continent and who walks like R Crumb's 'keep on truckin' ' cartoon guy from the 70s.
And an African lad with - it has to be said - a lovely infectious smile - but who might be cunning on a par with Dick Dastardly.
The rest were the usual collection of posh morons, northern monkeys on the make and barrow boys. No idea who they are.
Their first task was to go to Malta to do the 'collect things from a list' task which had the usual damning indictment of Comprehensive education result. You'd be better off letting lobsters loose in a safari park.
The result?:
If it hadn't already jumped the shark, then the last series started full on orbiting the shark like an angry moon.
The teams.
Well the women, looks wise - and thats the only way to judge them because, as usual, they seem to have been picked from the country's soul crushingly huge pool of narcissistic cretins - are a middling bunch at best.
The only 3, maybe 4, worthy of notice are, a quite attractive Persian looking piece, Jasmine, who seems completely vapid and, unlike most Persians, seems dumber than houseful of tictacs, but she could pout for Britain.
A younger, posh blonde English Rose type who is into Tennis and would make somebody a nice Chipping Norton Stepford wife.
A cute young black babe, who I think might go all the way.....And might win the thing too. Early days yet and I know that judgement might be wildly inaccurate.
And a willowy cunning Yank called Jackie, who is no great shakes to look at - though no dog - but, for me anyway, set off that mysterious 'hottest fuck ever' alarm.
The rest were a blonde Milf with wonky teeth who wants to market "nut juice" and who is "mad about nuts"
.And I swear, Sonia from Eastenders without the fucking trumpet, but with the incessant fucking whining.
A tranny with an eye piercing thats fucked up her vision so much he/she applies comestics with Homer Simpson's make up shotgun set on the 'Whore' setting.
And a loud, LOUD refugee from the 'When Comestic Surgery Goes Bad' TV show whose lips sit like two pre-crash Hindenburgs across the bottom of her face and who has a Catterall-esque comedy "Manc" accent that will have Liam Gallagher writing to the Times in furious complaint. Nice rack though.
Well the men, as usual, I didn't give much attention to. But the one's that got noticed were....
A horrifically neck bearded camp Northerner with inward growing teeth.
An aging Mr Muscle from the tins of polish.
An Indian guy with long Bee Gee-like flowing black hair, an ego the size of the sub continent and who walks like R Crumb's 'keep on truckin' ' cartoon guy from the 70s.
And an African lad with - it has to be said - a lovely infectious smile - but who might be cunning on a par with Dick Dastardly.
The rest were the usual collection of posh morons, northern monkeys on the make and barrow boys. No idea who they are.
Their first task was to go to Malta to do the 'collect things from a list' task which had the usual damning indictment of Comprehensive education result. You'd be better off letting lobsters loose in a safari park.
The result?:
Spoiler:
