Talksport Commentary

[carcinogen]

[Erskine Might]

Does Matterface ever listen to himself?

"That right foot could crack a safe"

He has a file of such gems primed ready to deploy for his two listeners that haven't turned off.

He never learns. He starts off with about three minutes or so of awful pre-rehearsed remarks, usually full of puns and really laboured 'topical' allusions, and then, when he's used up that material, every single time, you can practically hear the shiver of panic as he thinks, 'Christ, what do I say NOW?' If he didn't have Pearce or someone as a sidekick for 'bantz,' he'd really be lost.

[James90125]

United shooting from left to right, Chelsea shooting from right to left. The sun's in the sky. Frankie Lampard is wearing a lovely leather boot. I can smell chips.

[LittleShop]

Does Matterface ever listen to himself?

"That right foot could crack a safe"

I will never forget driving back home on a cold winter night from St James Park listening to TS commentary and this pearler ‘Soyuncu’s luscious locks fall backwards over his head’

WTF

[Zippy]

United shooting from left to right, Chelsea shooting from right to left. The sun's in the sky. Frankie Lampard is wearing a lovely leather boot. I can smell chips.

"INXS were number one when Solksjaer signed for Man Utd. And he really needs a result tonight!"

[ccreds]

Sometimes you think Biggles with his commentary catches you out where you don't think there's going to be a goal but then there is a goal. Don't know whether he's been doing it now and then for ages or not. Sometimes though think it brings some style to his commentary so not complaining.

[Jonathan Grunt]

Another live match ruined by Sam "Alan Partridge" Matterface

This guy is just plain dreadful

Leaving all opinions about him aside - a simple FACT is that he doesn't commentate on the game, he doesn't tell you what's happening on the pitch often enough for you to follow the game. Same in his last "commentary". This is such a basic error that surely even Clayton must fix it. At the point when that is fixed we can address whether his drivelling "banter" with his co-host is adequate. Personally as a start (if I couldn't fire him immediately) I'd make him do the games on his own - given him no-one to talk to - then he might concentrate more.

As long as he gives the odds every couple of minutes he can say what he likes as far as the bosses at the station are concerned

[ccreds]

Let's see Biggles again see if he can catch us out.

[JimmyDee]

Let's see Biggles again see if he can catch us out.

"Shaw shanked it, but there was no redemption", or some fucking thing. Shoot me, I'm in hell!

[ccreds]

Let's see Biggles again see if he can catch us out.

"Shaw shanked it, but there was no redemption", or some fucking thing. Shoot me, I'm in hell!

[JW90]

Stuart Pearce enlightening us all in the first half by knowing who plays for Liverpool.

"If Rooney ploid for Livpool, hoid be parssin to Marnay, to Sallargh".

Cheers, Stu.