Mourning thread.

[Carlos J]

Written before I saw ant's reply:

Jesus, what tragic day...one of my uncles died this morning four days after my auntie (his wife) died last Wednesday. Him from Covid in hospital and her from Parkinsons, they were both in their eighties and poorly but still a desperate shock for the immediate family.

Just a reminder to give whoever you need to a call or a visit and bury the hatchet because you never know when you'll see them next. RIP

Very sorry to hear this Ant.

About burying the hatchet, not sure I agree. The other party may go onto live twenty years after you and you'd feel a plonker in that case and have they'd have the last laugh that you backed down.

I heard today that from a family member that her brother in law died last week when hiking on a hazardous peak. He left his wife and eight year daughter behind.

Lost both my parents in their late 70s. That sort of age as with your relatives is OK as I see it as they were able to live life to full and had what I would term as a full life. It's when someone dies in their 20s, all the way up to their 50s that upsets me. Seen a fair number of friends and relatives who have gone in that age range and that really is gutting.

I'd like to think it more a human thing than a game of one-upmanship, kancut. As said, not in that situation so can only speculate on what I would do.

And I would hope I would make the effort if the beef was something trivial long yonder.

Especially if it involve nephews and nieces not seeing uncles and aunts, grandchildren not seeing grandparents, theirs is not the problem but they are the ones suffering.

As per, may not be recripicocated, but the effort has been made. Not a case of having the higher moral ground IMO, just a decent thing to do.

As per again, seen too many situations where at end of life, families are divided, will not go into the see the relative together so alternate viisits, issues with next of kin v others, causes staff to tread on eggshells and is all just so sad.

If a more complex reason for the dynamics, it is tried to deal with as best as can.

[kancutlawns]

Yeah fair enough Lawns completely valid, I lost my dad when in his sixties and mum is now nearly ninety and hanging on. It's more the timing of said events that was disturbing rather than the events themselves. I didn't care to mention my aunt dying last week nor would I as it was expected but to see them both pop off within days of each other was surprsingly quite difficult albeit for a brief time.

It's more a sadness directed towards those more deeply affected than me irrespective of their ages and life lived and a refreshment of the sadness of my dad's own passing twenty odd years ago by his own brother passing now.

I wasn't particularly fishing for sympathy although I thank those that offered it, I just thought it was quite an interesting but tragic tale and I appreciate you may not have read the whole thread where I elaborate on the nature of the hatchet, it wasn't mine.

I know how you feel mate. It's the connection to when we grew up, to our parents and grandparemts and it's a sobering realisation that we ourselves are getting on in age. We have to try and savour as much of this life as we can and give our all to our own children and for those who have them, grandchildren.

You'll get mine and other's sympathy here. It's a sad time and we feel for you. Life's just crap and a downer at times, but we get over it and just keep going. Things do get better. It's very sobering.

[kancutlawns]

Written before I saw ant's reply:

Jesus, what tragic day...one of my uncles died this morning four days after my auntie (his wife) died last Wednesday. Him from Covid in hospital and her from Parkinsons, they were both in their eighties and poorly but still a desperate shock for the immediate family.

Just a reminder to give whoever you need to a call or a visit and bury the hatchet because you never know when you'll see them next. RIP

Very sorry to hear this Ant.

About burying the hatchet, not sure I agree. The other party may go onto live twenty years after you and you'd feel a plonker in that case and have they'd have the last laugh that you backed down.

I heard today that from a family member that her brother in law died last week when hiking on a hazardous peak. He left his wife and eight year daughter behind.

Lost both my parents in their late 70s. That sort of age as with your relatives is OK as I see it as they were able to live life to full and had what I would term as a full life. It's when someone dies in their 20s, all the way up to their 50s that upsets me. Seen a fair number of friends and relatives who have gone in that age range and that really is gutting.

I'd like to think it more a human thing than a game of one-upmanship, kancut. As said, not in that situation so can only speculate on what I would do.

And I would hope I would make the effort if the beef was something trivial long yonder.

Especially if it involve nephews and nieces not seeing uncles and aunts, grandchildren not seeing grandparents, theirs is not the problem but they are the ones suffering.

As per, may not be recripicocated, but the effort has been made. Not a case of having the higher moral ground IMO, just a decent thing to do.

As per again, seen too many situations where at end of life, families are divided, will not go into the see the relative together so alternate viisits, issues with next of kin v others, causes staff to tread on eggshells and is all just so sad.

If a more complex reason for the dynamics, it is tried to deal with as best as can.

Agree with all that. That comment was tongue in cheek and yes, it's noble to rise above it and reach out to others, to accept our own failings as life really is short. The effort and self realisation is key, it gives you some solace.

[Carlos J]

Written before I saw ant's reply:

Jesus, what tragic day...one of my uncles died this morning four days after my auntie (his wife) died last Wednesday. Him from Covid in hospital and her from Parkinsons, they were both in their eighties and poorly but still a desperate shock for the immediate family.

Just a reminder to give whoever you need to a call or a visit and bury the hatchet because you never know when you'll see them next. RIP

Very sorry to hear this Ant.

About burying the hatchet, not sure I agree. The other party may go onto live twenty years after you and you'd feel a plonker in that case and have they'd have the last laugh that you backed down.

I heard today that from a family member that her brother in law died last week when hiking on a hazardous peak. He left his wife and eight year daughter behind.

Lost both my parents in their late 70s. That sort of age as with your relatives is OK as I see it as they were able to live life to full and had what I would term as a full life. It's when someone dies in their 20s, all the way up to their 50s that upsets me. Seen a fair number of friends and relatives who have gone in that age range and that really is gutting.

I'd like to think it more a human thing than a game of one-upmanship, kancut. As said, not in that situation so can only speculate on what I would do.

And I would hope I would make the effort if the beef was something trivial long yonder.

Especially if it involve nephews and nieces not seeing uncles and aunts, grandchildren not seeing grandparents, theirs is not the problem but they are the ones suffering.

As per, may not be recripicocated, but the effort has been made. Not a case of having the higher moral ground IMO, just a decent thing to do.

As per again, seen too many situations where at end of life, families are divided, will not go into the see the relative together so alternate viisits, issues with next of kin v others, causes staff to tread on eggshells and is all just so sad.

If a more complex reason for the dynamics, it is tried to deal with as best as can.

Agree with all that. That comment was tongue in cheek and yes, it's noble to rise above it and reach out to others, to accept our own failings as life really is short. The effort and self realisation is key, it gives you some solace.

Yep.

[9 to 5]

That's fucking awful Ant, I am sorry.

[lambrini]

Tnks CJ, was very sad and had a bit of a cry this morning thinking that another brother had gone. Chances are he may have passed anyway but Covid probably knocked him off coupled with a bit of hospital mismanagement according to a daughter. You'll know but was slightly surprised Covid was still an issue.

Yep, one place I work had 8 Covid cases last month and two deaths from it.

Tnks Lambo & Sid, yes I'd given up trying long ago...the irony in this case is the one now surviving uncle had not really spoken to the other (just deceased) in twenty or so years over his percieved slighting during another brother's (my father) death. Sensless stuff in the grand scheme of things but they always were petty, just a shame they'll never now make their peace.

And yep, see a lot of families with conflicts over something trivial but by then often too late. Thankfully, have good relations with all my family, but as Lambrini says, sometimes you can only do so much and if it is not reciprocated, maybe not a consolation, at least you know you have tried.

+1

[chelseachelsea]

I'm so sorry for you Ant mate, you're support for my son and daughter in law, in the last year...I will remember for ever...Hope your family close or not are getting through this horrible time..love

[antdad]

Bless you and yours CC.

[Sadact7]

Appropriate condolences to Ant.

However, re this “burying the hatchet” pussy talk…

Absolute fannyfart to arbitrarily and undeservedly squash a beef just because someone might turn up their toes. A cunt is a cunt, whether breathing or otherwise.

My nana is in the hospital at the moment and hopefully she takes this opportunity to finally fuck off, the old bag. And after that there’s a few more branches in the old family tree which could do with lopping off in fucking pretty short order as well.

Chainsaw. Woodchipper. Bin. Bye.