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The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:04 am
by VeritasVincit
These were voted as the best ten jokes at The Fringe.
I hope no-one spills their coffee reading these.
I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it’s hardly worth it now.
When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it’s called a podcast.
I thought I’d start off with a joke about The Titanic – just to break the ice.
How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag.
My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He’s Costa-phobic.
I entered the ‘How not to surrender’ competition and I won hands down.
Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch.
My grandma describes herself as being in her ‘twilight years’ which I love because they’re great films.
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:17 am
by finchman
And that ladies and gentlemen proves comedy is dead.
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 3:25 pm
by Turningleft
Dear o dear they are awful jack
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 4:02 pm
by Basualdo
Jesus, the Christmas cracker sales must have been good last year.
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:26 pm
by JW90
The first one doesn't even work.
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:39 pm
by JudgeTedd
When stand up comedians jokes are written down, they are always shite.
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:43 pm
by VeritasVincit
JW90 wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:26 pm
The first one doesn't even work.
And that was voted as the best !
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:48 pm
by kancutlawns
This is a rag tag of fucking shit puns with almost no theme other than the obvious lack of quality but I had to control my bodily emissions at this corker:
“How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag.”
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm
by kancutlawns
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:16 pm
by chelseachelsea
kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
Admit it, you were thinking of Lambers?
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:33 pm
by lambrini
chelseachelsea wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:16 pm
kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
Admit it, you were thinking of Lambers?
Really?! I'm not like that, am I?
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:35 pm
by lambrini
Comedy is dead.
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 8:15 pm
by kancutlawns
lambrini wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:33 pm
chelseachelsea wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:16 pm
kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
Admit it, you were thinking of Lambers?
Really?! I'm not like that, am I?
Well you’re like
SHUT UP BITCH, TIDY UP MY BEAUJOLAIS VOM AND FUCK OFF DOWN THE GUTTER YOU HO’!!!”
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 8:49 pm
by lambrini
kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 8:15 pm
lambrini wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:33 pm
chelseachelsea wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:16 pm
kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
Admit it, you were thinking of Lambers?
Really?! I'm not like that, am I?
Well you’re like
SHUT UP BITCH, TIDY UP MY BEAUJOLAIS VOM AND FUCK OFF DOWN THE GUTTER YOU HO’!!!”
I'm not like that at all!
Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Posted: Tue Aug 22, 2023 8:50 pm
by lambrini
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He looks at his wife and says, "this is the pig I've been fucking."
His wife looks at him and says "but that's a duck."
He replies "I wasn't talking to you!"