I'm determined to make Stuttering John Melendez a thing here. I'll probably fail.

[Basualdo]

Stuttering John went to Vegas to bang some aging rock chick he met online but she cockblocked him by bringing along her two daughters.

Stuttering John went to the date dressed in a blue pro Biden tee shirt, khaki jorts and sandals showing his fungal ridden brown toe talons.

Stuttering John bragged about his VIP room at the New York New York Hotel. VIP rooms are one step up from sleeping in the foyer.

Stuttering John was very impressed with his VIP room that had bare brick walls because they laid on -quote-:
"Froots <holds up two grapes from a small bowl> an' vejtibbles. Do youse get froots an' vejtibbles in your hotel rooms? Well do ya?!"

Stuttering John didn't get laid.

Stuttering John is a 5'6" buttplug shaped walking midden.

Stuttering John pretended to cry from his Vegas VIP hotel room because he's just one man trying to make thing better for kids.



Stuttering John's birthday was yesterday.

Stuttering John wanted to make it a better day for himself by begging his "fans" to send him more money than usual. They didn't. He got less than usual.

Stuttering Johns 86 year old mother went into his birthday chat to complain about his drinking.

Stuttering John's mother can't spell 'drinking'.

Stuttering John has had 3 "co-hosts" over the last month.

Stuttering John has had on air rows with 3 "co-hosts" over the last month and sacked them.

Stuttering John once boasted on air years ago that he had an IQ of 136. He doesn't.

Stuttering John once boasted on air weeks ago that he has an IQ of 165. This too is doubtful.

Stuttering John corrected himself a week later claiming he never said that he had an IQ of 165 <he did, it was filmed> and that his IQ is only 160, the same as Stephen Hawking's. He thinks this a fair assessment.

Stuttering John has doxxed himself many many times. I know the address and phone numbers of both his barrio flat in Canoga Pk, LA and his tiny shack in Florida both owned by his mother. I didnt look for them. He showed me them.


Stuttering John has accidentally doxxed many (mostly now former) friends and acquaintances by putting their numbers and other details onscreen. I have comedian Jim Florentine's number if anyone wants it.

Stuttering John cannot buy any properties because his credit is zilch and he owes tens of thousands of dollars in outstanding child support payments and tax liens.

Stuttering John's stupid mother buys all his shit for him.

Stuttering John is no longer driving. The reason for this is hotly debated. The concensus is that there's a DUI pending (Stuttering John has filmed himself behind the wheel while intoxicated more than a few times) or that his motorbike and car (he claims to own a Merc but his own video footage from inside his car - usually while drunk - points to a Ford and one that's old enough to have a clearly visible cassette tape deck) have been seized in lieu of payment by the IRS or finance companies.


Stuttering John is a chronically and monumentally dumb.


So why not 'dabble' with me in the many quirks, foibles and outright lunacy of Stuttering John Melendez.
It's fun. Exhausting but fun. He never stops being an arsehole.

[lambrini]

I don’t understand.

[Basualdo]

I don’t understand.

Internet lolcow Stuttering John Melendez.
One of the stupidest human beings on the planet with one of the largest egos.

Every day is an adventure with Stuttering John.

Ultrawoke but with a reputation for racism, misogyny and bullying.

But what a stud!

Marvel at his style, his moves, his panache as he tries to pick up his guest, a stunningly hot 50 year old respected TV news anchor.

[Basualdo]

BREAKING NEWS.....BREAKING NEWS.....BREAKING NEWS.....BREAKING NEWS.....BREAKING NEWS.....

This just in!!

Minutes ago 'da trollz' made an attempt to sabotage John's latest livestream. The suspected culprit is, unusually, British.

WARNING. VERY VERY VERY NSFW! SOUND WARNING TOO!

Spoiler:

[Basualdo]

That last bit.
John gave the link out to another youtuber to be a guest. The youtuber demurrage but mischievously passed it on to someone else.

The 'someone else' posed as a regular guest of John's, an English fella called Dabblestorian.

In spite of not really sounding like Dabblestorian - all English accents sound the same to John in spite of him fancying himself quite the Anglophile who cringely drops ill fitting British idioms and phrases into his Long Island gibbering - he strung John along for few minutes before unleashing a loud gif of audio and visual stream of racist hate, scat pornography and threats against Joe Biden.

Not that they're racist, I'm assuming, or into scat, but because John is ultra progressive and worships Biden. Remember John is very very stupid.
This content will hurt John the most.

[lambrini]

If you want a laugh, watch Mister Metokur's Internet Insanity series (the Brian Connors episode is a sad one tbh.)

► Show Spoiler

[kevin04]

Haha, I listen to Misery Loves Company and I know Stuttering John - he's great entertainment.

I'll tell you who is an absolute fud who Bob Levy and Shuli who are incredibly dull and unfunny.