These were voted as the best ten jokes at The Fringe.
I hope no-one spills their coffee reading these.
I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it’s hardly worth it now.
When women gossip we get called bitchy; but when men do it’s called a podcast.
I thought I’d start off with a joke about The Titanic – just to break the ice.
How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag.
My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He’s Costa-phobic.
I entered the ‘How not to surrender’ competition and I won hands down.
Nationwide must have looked pretty silly when they opened their first branch.
My grandma describes herself as being in her ‘twilight years’ which I love because they’re great films.
The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
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- finchman
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
And that ladies and gentlemen proves comedy is dead.
Joel,Boyce,Alcaraz,Scharner,Espinoza,McCarthy,McArthur,Gomez,(Watson),McManaman,Maloney,Kone,...LEGENDS!
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Dear o dear they are awful jack
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Jesus, the Christmas cracker sales must have been good last year.
Proud Gammon
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RIP Neil Peart 1952-2020.
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
The first one doesn't even work.
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
When stand up comedians jokes are written down, they are always shite.
It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand. ~ Brian Stimpson
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- kancutlawns
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
This is a rag tag of fucking shit puns with almost no theme other than the obvious lack of quality but I had to control my bodily emissions at this corker:
“How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag.”
“How do coeliac Germans greet each other? Gluten tag.”
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
- chelseachelsea
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Admit it, you were thinking of Lambers?kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Really?! I'm not like that, am I?chelseachelsea wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:16 pmAdmit it, you were thinking of Lambers?kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Comedy is dead.
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
Well you’re like SHUT UP BITCH, TIDY UP MY BEAUJOLAIS VOM AND FUCK OFF DOWN THE GUTTER YOU HO’!!!”lambrini wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:33 pmReally?! I'm not like that, am I?chelseachelsea wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:16 pmAdmit it, you were thinking of Lambers?kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 8:15 pmWell you’re like SHUT UP BITCH, TIDY UP MY BEAUJOLAIS VOM AND FUCK OFF DOWN THE GUTTER YOU HO’!!!”lambrini wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:33 pmReally?! I'm not like that, am I?chelseachelsea wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 7:16 pmAdmit it, you were thinking of Lambers?kancutlawns wrote: ↑Tue Aug 22, 2023 5:52 pm The most British thing I’ve ever heard? A lady who said ‘Well I’m sorry, but I don’t apologise.’
I'm not like that at all!
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“The forum's saucy upstart” –Ghost
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Re: The Fringe: Top ten 'jokes'.
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He looks at his wife and says, "this is the pig I've been fucking."
His wife looks at him and says "but that's a duck."
He replies "I wasn't talking to you!"
His wife looks at him and says "but that's a duck."
He replies "I wasn't talking to you!"
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POTY 2023 & 2022 finalist
*
“Cod philosopher” –Antdad
“The forum's saucy upstart” –Ghost
“Solid broess” –Sadact7
POTY 2023 & 2022 finalist
*
“Cod philosopher” –Antdad
“The forum's saucy upstart” –Ghost
“Solid broess” –Sadact7